When every day is a battle to get to school

Many children are reluctant to go to school at some stage. Sometimes it’s a one-off – like test days or returning after holidays – and sometimes it lasts longer. There are many reasons school can feel hard. It’s a complex environment with social and academic demands, time rules, expectations, and emotional growth all happening at once. It’s a lot to manage, and school changes at every stage, making it tricky to adjust.

When a child avoids school, it can be distressing for both them and their parents. Families can feel caught between wanting their child to be happy and needing them to attend school. The daily stress can build and begin to affect family life.

One powerful thing you can do is be present. Listen without jumping in to solve. Ask open-ended questions like, “What parts of your day do you enjoy more?” or "Is there an adult you get along with more?" You might hear things like, “I like Science because the teacher is funny but strict,” or “I like Drama because we don’t write as much.” These clues help you understand what works and what doesn’t.

Then, work with the school. Together, share what your child has said. Staff can help build enjoyable elements into your child’s week. You can’t erase their anxiety, but by offering calm empathy, consistency, and space to talk, you can help build confidence that they are being listened to and resilience to manage the tougher parts of their week.